Public Restroom Stories- Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com (2024)

<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Bizarre, Coworkers, Employees, Funny Stories, Public Restroom, Restaurant, Safety, USA |

Working | May 21, 2024

I’ve been a server going on seventeen years. It’s the middle of a rush, and I have to pee — bad. I tell the server with me on the patio, and she says it’s cool. I run to the bathroom, pee, and wash my hands.

I go to leave, and the door won’t open. (It’s an employee bathroom, not a stall.) I wiggle the handle. It won’t move. I’m standing there thinking, “Am I stupid?!” I try again. The door won’t budge.

I get out my phone — no service. I reset my phone as I’m knocking on the door saying, “Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me? I’m locked in the bathroom!” Of course, no one can. The employee bathroom is way away from anything. The only reason you’d be right there is to use the restroom.

I look at my phone — still no service.

At this point, a solid ten minutes have gone by. So, I’m in this tiny-a** bathroom with my phone in the air hoping to get one bar, all while shouting:

Me: “[MY NAME] IS STUCK IN THE BATHROOM!”

I finally get one bar, and I send a mass text to every manager and server at work:

Me: “I’M STUCK IN THE BATHOOM! SEND HELP!”

My text keeps showing the loading symbol.

Now it’s been fifteen or so minutes, and I cannot get the door to budge. I’m wondering why my fellow server hasn’t come to my rescue!

Another two or three minutes go by, and someone tries to open the door.

Me: “I’M LOCKED IN HERE!”

Voice On The Other Side: “[My Name]…?”

She can’t get the door open. She goes and gets a manager. The two of them start pushing on the door while I pull it. It WILL NOT BUDGE!

Me: “Go check my tables! Close my section! Help!”

Then, another manager came with a busser, and they all tried to push while I tried to pull, and…

FINALLY! The door opened!

I was gone for almost thirty minutes. The server on the patio with me said she thought I was taking a long s*** and never thought to check on me. She watched my tables, and my manager cashed some people out who’d been waiting a while, etc.

A couple around my age asked where I’d been (I had dropped off their drinks, they’d said they needed a few minutes, and that’s when I’d gone to pee), so I had to tell them the story. They thought it was hilarious.

Related:
For Every Weird Thing At Your Workplace, There’s A Story Like This, Part 2
For Every Weird Thing At Your Workplace, There’s A Story Like This

<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Bizarre, Department Store, Editors' Choice, Impossible Demands, Public Restroom, USA |

Right | May 16, 2024

I finally get a break and rush to the restroom for a long overdue pee break. I open the door to the ladies’ restroom, and there is an angry-looking customer just… standing there.

Customer: “Oh, my God! Finally! I’ve been trapped in here forever!”

Me: “Is there something wrong with the door? Was it jammed?”

Customer: *Pointing to the door* “No, but do you seriously expect me — a customer — to touch that?”

Me: “Well… yes?”

This was the wrong answer.

Customer: “You’re all disgusting! You can’t promise me that everyone has properly washed their hands, which means there’s likely urine all over that door handle! It’s preposterous for you to not have an attendant in here to open the door for customers!”

Me: *Beginning to do that little pee dance* “I tend to agree with you, ma’am, so what I usually do is open the door holding one of the tissues so that I don’t come in direct contact with the handle, and then I toss that tissue into the trash can right outside the restroom. There are also hand sanitizers right outside the restrooms, so I use those for a final ‘spritz’ before I go about my day.”

Customer: “That’s far too much work for the average customer!”

Me: *Pee dance picking up rhythm* “More work than just… waiting for someone to walk in and open the door for you?”

Customer: “The point is that I shouldn’t be forced to do all that!”

By now, the door is closed again, and I really, REALLY need to pee, so into the cubicle I go.

Customer: “Where are you going?!”

Where the h*** does she think I’m going? Narnia?!

Me: “I’m going to use what the main intention of this room was designed for, ma’am.”

Customer: “So, you’re not here to rescue me?!”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, I’m here to pee.”

Customer: “But I’ve been waving at the camera for minutes! No one saw me?!”

Me: “We absolutely do not have any cameras in here, ma’am!”

Customer: “But I’ve been waving at the camera by the door! You have to let me out!”

I stopped talking to her at that point and awkwardly tried to do my business while this customer shuffled around like a zombie right outside the cubicle door. I heard her huff and puff and finally give in and open the door of her own accord.

When washing my hands, I confirmed that the “camera by the door” she had been so vigorously waving at was actually an automatic perfumed scent dispenser.

<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> California, Convention, , Public Restroom, Revolting, Strangers, Stupid, USA |

Friendly | May 6, 2024

I am at a board game convention where a few thousand folks get together to play board games, card games, RPGs, Larps, etc.

I’m in the restroom washing my hands — as one does — and a lady walks behind me to use a disability-accessible stall. She quickly apologizes to someone already in the stall using the facilities.

Woman #1: “Don’t forget to lock the door for privacy.”

The woman in the stall announces:

Woman #2: “I don’t touch the doors so I don’t need to wash my hands.”

I am so grossed out that I loudly say, “Ew!”, for the room to hear. As I head out, the woman retorts from the stall:

Woman #2: “If I don’t touch anything, I don’t need to wash!”

Okay, yucky lady.

I hung around outside to get a glimpse of whom I would not be playing games with that weekend.

<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Bizarre, Coworkers, , New Hires, Office, Public Restroom, USA |

Working | April 8, 2024

Sometime in the 1980s when I started work, I was given a tour of the office.

Manager: “Oh, here are the restrooms. Don’t go in there after Two-co*ke-Tim.”

Me: “Who?!”

Manager: “Oh, you haven’t seen Two-co*ke-Tim yet? You’ll spot him in the break room. He always has at least two cans of co*ke, which he chugs and then moves on to get more.”

Me: “Okay, but why would I not use the restroom after him?”

Manager: “One day while I was washing my hands in the bathroom, he walked in, downed a whole bottle of Pepto-Bismol, looked at himself in the mirror for a solid five seconds, and then headed straight into the bathroom stall. This guy already creeps me out, so I noped right out of there before I heard whatever he was about to do.”

I have had many “first days” in my almost fifty-year career, but that was the only one I remember!

<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Lazy/Unhelpful, Military, Non-Dialogue, Office, Public Restroom, Security, Stupid, Technology |

Working | March 2, 2024

I was doing private security for a company that did research for the Department Of Defense back in the 1980s. If you think of computer servers in vaults with built-in Faraday cages to prevent the [People from Another Country] from remotely accessing data, you are on the right line.

One night at like 3:00 am, I went to the bathroom. I knew I’d be in there for a while, and I am a reader, so when I saw this two-inch-thick manual in the trash, I picked it up and started to flip through it.

It turned out to be a proposal for a space-based anti-ICBM (intercontinental ballistic missile) defense system. It was an interesting bathroom read, but I suspect it was not supposed to be left in the trash like that.